TriinErg on DeviantArthttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/https://www.deviantart.com/triinerg/art/x-The-Violin-147319243TriinErg

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x - The Violin

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Published:
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Description

This violin drowned with its owner.


"Ah, spent three weeks in that water, got me cracked and tarnished, it did."
(by ~dragoncaretaker92)



:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
©Triin Erg
Image size
2816x1880px 2.8 MB
Make
Panasonic
Model
DMC-FZ7
Shutter Speed
10/400 second
Aperture
F/2.8
Focal Length
6 mm
ISO Speed
80
Date Taken
Dec 20, 2009, 2:14:15 AM
Comments465
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nycterent's avatar
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

Hi *triinupiinu,

I'll just run down some thoughts I had while I looked at this and see where that gets me.

Perceived Intent: The back-story of this violin makes me think that the piece wants to express that tragedy. The dignity of being left after a dramatic death, after abandonment, and then found again, and this time, by someone who appreciates its history, trials, and loves the violin unconditionally, despite its damaged frame and broken voice. That's right powerful.

Execution of Intent: While the backstory is strong and emotionally charged, the piece itself looks like a cleverly angled still life, passive where the story hums with passion and energy. Now, obviously, there's not much that can be done. It's not as if putting a pink peony there will improve the piece (quite the opposite!), but overall, compared with it's past, this is a pale tribute. (Although...a dead fish might do the trick... <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt=":B" title="Bucktooth" /> )

The one strong part of the piece is the crystal focus on the pitted and water damaged frame. It shows off its tragic beauty and dignity, and that draws me. The violin is a survivor, and that comes through clear.

Content: For me, seeing a violin close-up shot is like seeing a water droplet, piano keys, or a dried rose. Seen it before, oh gods so many times. But to make sure that I wasn't just unfairly biased against violins, I typed in "Violin" in the dA photography gallery. Many close-ups, especially at a similar angle to this one. Of course, that doesn't automatically say that this is bad, or that it doesn't have anything going for it (it does), but I did have a knee-jerk reaction when I first saw it. A cliché can be remade, but usually, when a poet writes "love is a rose", the reader winces.

Title: The title, "The Violin", isn't adding anything to the overall piece. I think that most people -- even those who aren't very familiar with instruments -- would be able to tell that it's a violin. For this reason, using the label is redundant and wastes the title. Perhaps there's a way to made the title add something to the photograph?

Focus and placement: The violin's placement within the picture irritates me. The focus is on the center where the details are clear, but this focus leads upward and to the right, drawing my eye to the corner, stifling it between two blurred walls. Glancing back to the far left becomes a chore, and the complete lack of focus there bothers me. Why have all that left side space when it's just vague and something from which I'm pulled away? Yes, I can see that the area is needed to achieve the rectangular, pseudo-panoramic shape, but I can't help but wonder if the sacrifice is worth it.

Border: Have you played around with the idea of borders? I noticed in your gallery that you generally don't, and it works fine with many shots, but here, I feel a black top-bottom thick border would add to the image. It would bring out the darker colors and by using a film-style frame (top-bottom only) there might be that slight cinematic tension created there, placing the violin in the context of some drama. (As it was, historically). Of course, borders (or lack thereof) are a very preference, so it could go either way. Final say is always the artist's.

I hope my thoughts will be useful -- if not for this piece, then perhaps in the future.

Good luck with your photography!
=nycterent

PS. The rating has nothing to do with my opinions. I don't believe in rating what I critique; the stars are arbitrary and same for every critique I post.